


How to tame your serial killer

by pandaspots



Series: Nothing says 'I love you' like a bunch of corpses [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Death Threats, M/M, mention to death, serial killer au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1512677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tumblr user wildlifeneko asked for Jean dealing with Eren.<br/>I complied</p><p>Jean wishes the object of his affections could feel how hard it is for him not to straight up smother him in his sleep, but he'll take what he can get, reminding him of what his mother taught him about normal human behavior at any chance he has.<br/>One day he has to fall into the pattern, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to tame your serial killer

"No, Jean, let me go, I’m gonna murder him!"

Eren was yelling that, and to most people that was a drunken empty threat. But Jean knew better, saw better, and knew that if they stayed a second more in that pub, Eren would make good on his word.

"No, you’re not, you can’t go killing anyone that looks weird at us or at Mika-chan! That’s not how normal people work!" He held Eren by the middle of his torso, not caring that Eren was actually trying to break his arms and wouldn’t even regret it later.

"And then who’s going to make everyone see they’re human garbage?" Eren dug his nails on Jean’s arm, breaking skin, and Jean hoped Eren at least had the decency of bandaging it later.

"You’re hurting me." He said, and Eren loosened his grip, but didn’t stop struggling. "Stop squirming, you shit, I’m trying to get Interpol off your track, can’t you appreciate it?"

"But.."

"No buts." He tried to hail a cab as fast as he could without letting Eren go. "You know how hard was it to tamper with proof so that it looked like a copycat did it, not you? Save me the trouble, will you?"

"But these assholes!"

"There will always be assholes in the world, Eren, you can’t possibly kill them all, and didn’t your mother tell you it’s wrong to try?"

Eren stopped struggling, but Jean didn’t loosen his grip. He finally managed to hail down a cab, and he used the opportunity to shove the other man in the vehicle, giving the address to the driver.

"She did but… You know." He said in the same tone he always speaks of anything. To most people, that would seem like he doesn’t want to talk about it, but for the Eren expert, he did that because the last time he talked so dispassionately about his parents deaths, it took a week for Jean to willingly be around him again.

"I do know. But still. Don’t do that. Don’t dishonor her memory, babe. You should still live like she wanted you to." That should do it. Any semblance of guilt Eren could feel was usually directed at his mother, and Jean learned to exploit it at its maximum.

"It’s five pounds and a quarter." The cabbie announced, and Eren threw a 20 at him.

"Keep the change." He was quick to get out of the car, and Jean followed closely.

"Eren, I’m fucking serious." He hissed when Eren slid his hand on Jean’s back pocket. "I’m trying to open the door here."

"And I’m trying to fuck you against it." He said.

"Are you for real? I’m upset with you still!"

"Uuuuugh, then un-upset!" Eren whined.

"I don’t un-upset, Eren. I can’t believe I still have to explain this to you. Behave tomorrow, and I’ll think about it."

Eren whines louder.

"Eren, stop howling like a dog. Whatever happened, you brought it on yourself." Mikasa called from the living room.

"Alright. I’m going to bed early, and I’m going to jack off on Jean’s pillow."

"You do that and I’m fucking turning you in to the Interpol, you shit!"

Both knew that while Eren’s threat wasn’t empty, Jean’s was. He at least bought him roses and chocolates the next day. Not that he felt guilty about it, but he said he liked Jean’s presence, and that was about as close to love Eren got.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was close.

**Author's Note:**

> pls comment and leave kudos!  
> and ask for stuff you wanna see as well! \õ


End file.
